Potty Training: The Highs and Lows

This post is not a "how to" for potty training.  It's about the emotional highs and lows that go along with potty training.

(note: for the purpose of this article, I will only be using #1 and #2 to refer to body functions)

Step back and think about this with me.  All your child knows is going #1 and #2 in their diaper.  Up to this point, you have been happy to change it many, MANY times every day without complaint.  Now all of a sudden you tell them to use the potty instead.  You really don't ask, you demand it's time to change.  You rip the "security blanket" of a diaper out from under them.  CONFUSING times to say the least!

So before you decide to start potty training, think through the emotional highs and lows that you and your child will experience.

1) Your child's unique personality.  Is your child easily upset?  Likes change? Doesn't like change? Happy to please you? Wants their own way?

All of these personality traits need to be taken into consideration as you plan out your potty training process.  If your child will be upset easily, how will you react when they have an accident?  How will you encourage and affirm your child when they do well?

2) Personal failures and triumphs.   This is a monumental moment in your child's life.  It's really the first time you are asking them to cooperate where you are not controlling the outcome.  If you say, "put down the toy" and your child does not obey, you can walk over and put it down for them and give an appropriate consequence.

In this situation, your child has WAY more control.  If they don't want to put #1 or #2 in the potty, they won't.  There is really nothing you can do about this.  You must teach, encourage, demonstrate and ask them to do it, but the decision is really up to them.  Your child will feel failure when they have accidents and huge triumphs when they make it to the potty in time.  The unique personality traits of your child will come into play here.  How will he/she handle the disappointments?  How do you need to encourage and love your child through it? How will you show disappointments in the failures while showing unchanging love to your child?  These are not things you can think of "on the spot."  THINK ABOUT IT NOW before you begin.

3) Have a phrase. One of my daughter's favorite phrases was "I don't need no stinkin' diaper."  Besides the awful grammar errors with that statement, I love the empowerment that it provided.  You could see the confidence in her eyes as she said it.



4) Pep talks. You will give MANY pep talks during this short, intense period of time. So think through your child's love language.  Do they need physical touch to feel loved?  Do they needs words to cling to?  Do they need gifts?  With my son, I spoke of how brave it was to choose to use the potty.  That he was a brave boy.  He really clung to that phrase when he decided to put #2 in the potty.  I'm not going to go into the psychological effect of #2 in the potty, but it's definitely been an obstacle for both of my kids to overcome... so based on those stats I'm pretty sure if affects lots of other kiddos, too.

5) Intentional training time.  I'm not talking about being in the same room as your child, I'm talking about being ALL ABOUT YOUR CHILD FOR LONG PERIODS OF TIME.  I literally put aside all things I normally do (laundry, check emails, fold clothes, fix lunch) so that I would not miss a "potty moment."  These opportunities are so important in the first few days of potty training, so JUMP ON THEM.  Once my son started fighting #2, I literally put him next to me on the couch and waited to feel his stomach start to contract. #nopersonalspace  I was able to rush him to the potty and have a successful moment and encourage him (and enjoy a popsicle party!)

To conclude this post (that I actually never thought I would write about on this blog!), think about what the process will be like emotionally for your child.  Think about what it will be like for you as you watch your child go through these emotions.  Think through how to put aside life for a few days to be INTENTIONAL with your child to catch the "potty moments."

Happy potty training!  Unless requested by readers, this subject will not covered again on this blog... You are welcome:)